Left in Terk’s dorm with a card that reads.
Sorry for being a douchebag.
I’m going to go eat lunch with you JUST SO you can eat your words along with whatever you get to eat. Also, we’re going to look like some sort of circus act. I hope you’re prepared for that.
Wait, that’s not making you feel better, I bet. At least you’re adorable? That’s hard for me to pull off even on my best days.
I heard words can be really nasty so I’m gonna go ahead and NOT eat them…sorry bro.
You know…I hear that a lot - but thanks! Hey, why don’t ya meet me outside the Dianne dorms in a half hour? I gotta make myself look presentable.
So what I’m getting from this is that I shouldn’t challenge you ever because I’ll loose miserably? How small are you exactly? I’m always curious because I’m six foot four and I have yet to meet anyone that tall.
Mmmm. Depends. If you want to go out I suggest greasy diner food. That’s always my prescribed cure for a hangover, all though ‘m not sure if it works or if I just tricked myself into believing that it did. Lays potato chips too. If I’m not careful I’ll eat a whole bag of them the morning after a big drinking night. And loads of water too.
See, I never said I beat these people…I just said I tried to. You are a DAMN liar. How do you expect me to believe you are a million inches tall??? Pfft. I bet you’re 6 nothin’ and like to exaggerate.
And if that’s not the case you should probably just pretend to make me feel better because I’m 5’1….
GREASE - I need it immediately. Hey, wanna come? I might not be the best company at the moment BUT I can’t stand going out by myself. I’ll even pay.
Ah, had to much fun last night?
Not laughing at your hangover, I swear. But to answer your question, unless I’m running around and doing some sort of physical activity, I’ve probably got some sort of snack food in my hand.
Yeeeeeah, I don’t remember much but I’m pretty sure I was convinced o drink more than everyone in the bar - including my new friend Naveen who’s like a million times my size.
I can probably be mistaken for a toddler. I think you can fill in the blanks from there.
See, now I know where to go when I need a snack. Like NOW, maybe…I could use some hangover food. What do you recommend?
I just thought that someone should tell you that you look absolutely stunning this afternoon. As for me, I’m eating. This surprises no one.
Oh trust me, that picture is old as balls. I am TOO hungover to look anything other than a mess right now. But thank you anyway.
Here’s a question….are you always eating?
Ahh, it’s my random dancing friend!
Saul Bellow, “A Silver Dish”